Then to complicate things more I have went to see a councilor over this. I thought it would help. What a freak she turned out to be. I seen her twice. The first time it was pretty much me expressing how I felt and what had happened. She suggested I write how I feel about him and then burn it, so I did. I then went for my follow up session. The woman told me I was suffering from not exploring my inner sexuality. Which may be true. She then came over and told me I was so tense she could feel it. She then started massaging my shoulders and neck. She then started smelling me telling me I smelt great. I jumped up and left. I never went back. What she said probably was true. However the way she approached me and me there for help was totally unprofessional and only complicated things more.
So I contacted a friend who is a doctor about this. She put me in contact with a reputable councilor. She has suggested I go back for more past life regression. The thoughts of that scares the shit out of me. She says part of my problem is that I opened doors that needed to be closed. The other part she said was that I had suppressed my sexuality for a large portion of my life. She gave me a couple of names of hypnotherapist. She said I could come back to her if I needed to vent, but honestly I knew what I needed to do. I said what? She said go to the hypno therapy and resolve the past life issue. Then explore your own sexuality. That was it.
So I was regressed again, it resolved nothing. If anything it made it worse due to the fact the images were much clearer this time. The hypnotherapist suggested that maybe I go into heavy hypno therapy and document my name and address from then to validate my past life. She said maybe then I could find closure and healing. I don't know. I find that scary as Hell. I will have to think long and hard on that one.
Next time I write I will write on the second suggestion she had on exploring my sexuality.